Girl Talk
by Iulia
Summary: [OneShot][SasuSaku, minor NH, NT, SI, & Suika]Sasuke had always pictured that his capture would be done by Naruto and Sakura and maybe Kakashi, if he wasn’t already the Hokage.  He had never expected to get captured by a bunch of giggling kunoichi


**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Naruto.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: **Okay, this is gonna be corny… but, hey, I'm in a corny mood…so, yeah… please read and review? There's no angst at all in this fic… I must be sick.

* * *

**GIRL TALK**

* * *

Sasuke had always pictured that his capture would be done by Naruto and Sakura and maybe Kakashi, if he wasn't already the Hokage. Yes, he knew he was going to be captured. He was planning to go back to Konoha anyway, but he thought that it would be fun if he played a game of cat and mouse with his former teammates first.

Anyway… his capture… There would be an epic fight scene between the two of them wherein he, Sasuke, would reign supreme. But in the end, Naruto would tap into that Kyuubi's chakra and tip the odds. Then he would go all curse seal and finally, in the end, they'd go all Chidori vs. Rasengan again. But this time, Sakura would be there to stop them and they'd snap out of their insanities before they could harm a single strand of her pink hair. Because, after all, Sakura's really the only one the two of them have left and they would never ever really hurt her. Yes, he did acknowledge that though he never showed it. Then, Sakura would start crying and she'd give a speech that would make them – him and naruto – ashamed of themselves because they totally forgot who they were for a moment there. And of course, after that speech, they – he and naruto – would both be so tired and spent that they'd collapse and they'd wake up with Sakura taking care of them just like that time in the Forest of Death. And then he'd start looking at her and how she grew all those curves and gained that strength and then he'd start fantasizing about reviving his clan – and hey, he was getting off topic. but the point was – he had never expected to get captured by a bunch of giggling kunoichi. Granted, Sakura was there, so his prediction wasn't so off but still – kunoichi? Not that he was a chauvinist and all but…

"Hey, Cherry Blossom, which should I wear to my date with Shika-kun next week – my blue sweater or my gray coat?"

"Hmm, I don't know Beautiful Blonde but considering that the blue sweater will accentuate your eyes, I'd say blue sweater."

"How about you, Winter Angel, what do you think?"

"M-me? Uhmm… The b-blue sweater suits y-you well Beautiful Blonde-san."

"So, that's two points for the blue sweater now. Weapons Mistress, what do you think?"

"I'd pick the gray coat over the blue sweater any time. But that's just me. The blue sweater just suits your personality better."

"Alright, so that settles it. Cherry Blossom, would you accompany me to the mall tomorrow to buy new shoes?"

"Sure thing pig – I mean, Beautiful Blonde."

Sasuke was a lot of things but he was definitely not stupid. If anything, stupid things annoyed him and it just so happened that their codenames were so stupid he wanted nothing more than to chidori their brains out. Their codenames were just so painfully obvious that even if he was away from Konoha for eight whole years, it was so easy to say that "Cherry Blossom" was Sakura, "Beautiful Blonde" was that conceited Ino, "Winter Angel" was that stuttering weird girl – what was her name, ah yes, Hinata. And that "Weapons Mistress" was the girl in the Hyuuga's team, he didn't know her name but –

"Your codenames are stupid."

Before he could even realize that he actually said that out loud, four pairs of eyes suddenly glared at him so intensely that he immediately wished that he kept his mouth shut.

"You're one to talk – Hebi… what a corny name."

It was Ino who spoke up and if he wasn't tied up with chakra strings, he would've strangled her. As it was, he settled on a glare that he hoped would scare the girl.

"Ignore him, Beautiful Blonde, he's just bitter because he doesn't have our talent for choosing names."

"Yeah, you're right Weapons Mistress. I'll just ignore him."

After that little exchange, the four girls went back to ignoring him but this time, their conversation changed a bit. Now, they were talking about his team's 'corny' nickname. Needless to say, it aggravated him to the point where – hey, Karin spoke up. She was probably going to defend his choice of name, Sasuke thought. He made a mental note to thank her once they were released.

"Yeah, I thought it was a stupid name too. But hey, he was looking pretty hot when he said 'Hebi' so I didn't argue."

Why that traitorous skanky bitch-

The girls promptly started giggling at that comment. And needless to say, he was getting pretty annoyed at all their giggles.

"You know, you're not so bad. You want to come over and join us?"

Unexpectedly, it was Sakura who offered. He had always imagined that she and Karin would have a cat fight over him. But hey, none of his predictions were coming true so why should that one come true?

"Sure thing. Hey, can I have some of those? They smell delicious and I've never really had one before so…"

"Here you go – wait, you're tied up, how can you eat… hmmm… wait a minute, girls would it be okay if we untie her? She seems friendly enough."

"Yeah, I won't escape. I'm actually looking forward to bargaining with your Hokage and asking to become a citizen."

"Really? Okay then. By the way, my name is Sakura. This here is Ino, and that's Hinata, and that one there is TenTen. I guess it's safe to tell you our names since Sasuke apparently knows who we are already and your other teammates are fast asleep."

All three girls said hi as Karin proceeded to join them beside the fire. Beside him, Juugo and Suigetsu were both sleeping soundly, seemingly unaffected by the fact that they were captured.

"H-here you g-go Karin-san, have a marshmallow", said Hinata as she offered Karin a piece.

"Marshmallow? Oh, is that what they're called? Mmm… This is delicious."

"You've never had one before, Karin-san?" asked Tenten.

"No, Sound wasn't such a great place, after all."

"Oh, you poor thing, here, have some more", said Ino as she gave Karin more marshmallows which, the said girl promptly gobbled up.

What followed was a series of girlish conversations that Sasuke didn't really want to pay attention to. Instead, he focused on trying to sleep so as to regain some strength. He still couldn't believe that the four girls were actually able to capture him and his team. Sure, they were already weakened but it was still quite unbelievable. What was even more amazing was that Sakura was an ANBU. Never in his wildest dreams did he think that she'd even reach the Jounin level, much less ANBU. His reverie was cut short when he heard his brother's name mentioned by none other than Yamanaka Ino.

"You know who was hot? Itachi. That guy was pure love. Too bad Sasuke here killed him off."

"Oooh… you mean Sasuke's brother? Oh yeah, that guy was sooo dreamy. I had half a mind to follow him and have him Tsukiyomi me so that I could spend three whole days with him."

What the – he didn't know that Karin was lusting after his brother too –

"Yeah, I've seen his face in the Bingo Book. I'd say he was even hotter than Sasuke here. Oh, but Hinata, don't tell Neji I said that, okay?"

"H-hai, Tenten-san, it's a secret. D-don't tell N-naruto-kun, but I think Itachi-san was c-cute too."

"Oi, Sakura, you're being pretty quiet, what do you think about Uchiha Itachi."

Suddenly, Sasuke's interest increased tenfold as he craned his neck to hear what Sakura was going to say. Surely, surely, Sakura wouldn't betray him.

"Hm? What did you say Ino-pig?"

"Itachi – he's hot, isn't he? I mean, if you like Sasuke's looks then you've gotta love Itachi's looks… right?"

"Oh, Itachi, he was pretty good-looking…"

Upon hearing Sakura's words, Sasuke felt like he was going to faint. So, even Sakura was going to betray him too, huh? Sasuke was so angry, yet at the same time, he also felt a bit depressed. His nails were cutting into his palms and they drew blood as he balled his hands into fists.

"… but I still think Sasuke-kun looks a lot better. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go check on the prisoner. Besides, Itachi was a deranged psychopath so you girls should be worrying about your own sanities if you're actually fantasizing over him."

"Aww, you're a spoil-sport Sakura."

"Yeah, loosen up a bit. Admit that Itachi is the King of Hot!!"

He looked up just in time to see Sakura coming in his direction. The said girl was still wearing her ANBU mask, that of a white rabbit, as she crouched down behind him.

"You know, Sasuke-kun, you shouldn't let yourself get affected by a little girl talk."

He almost jumped when he felt her take hold of his hand. He felt something cool enter his skin and he assumed that she had started to heal him.

"Now look what you did. Your hands are all bloody."

"Aren't you going to go back to your friends?", he snapped, still feeling a bit pissed off at the fact that she thought his brother was good-looking. He really didn't want her to go. He was already hurt that she chose to gossip with her friends rather than catch up with him… not that he would ever admit to that, anyway.

"Nah… I was getting tired of all that girl talk anyway."

"Hn."

"You know, I kinda missed hearing your 'Hn'… say it again?"

"Hn."

At this, Sakura promptly fell into a fit of giggles which… strangely enough… didn't annoy him. In fact, it even managed to coax a small smile out of him. Her presence comforted him despite his being tied up in chakra strings.

He stood up from behind him and sat at his right.

"Sorry I can't untie you yet. You're still too much of a threat, I guess."

After saying this, she removed her mask and looked up at him and he was met with the clearest green eyes which, he noticed, were shimmering slightly… as if she was on the verge of tears.

"I forgive you… Sasuke-kun…"

"Ah."

He wanted to say that he didn't really ask for her forgiveness but he thought better of it. Instead, he opted for a question…

"Was the name 'Team Hebi' really that corny?"

… a question which made Sakura start giggling again before she answered.

"Yes, Sasuke-kun! It was horrible. What were you thinking?"

"Hn."

And with that… they started mending.

* * *

"_Oi, Forehead Girl, you're not even sure if the Hokage's going to pardon him and already you're flirting with him."_

"_Shut up Ino-pig!!!"_

"_Ah, and it seems that Sasuke-kun here is responding! Hell must be freezing over. I didn't know you were such a flirt, Sasuke! Hey, Karin, aren't you jealous?"_

"_Naah, I like someone else better anyway."_

And sure enough, the red-head's eyes flickered to where a young man with sharp teeth was sleeping. And it was all she could do to hide her blush.

* * *

**FIN**


End file.
